I don't have anything to say.  It's hot and I'm feeling a bit lazy.  XD

I am still unemployed but I guess it's about to change.  I think I got some sort of online gig.  I will find out soon enough.  I've been forced to seek employment mainly because my funds have dwindled. I don't want to be super broke or anything like that.  I miss online shopping.  And I want to travel.

I've been too preoccupied with other social networking sites/platforms.  But I do miss reading random posts made by you lovely Tabulas users.  

Speaking of other social networking sites, please follow me on Twitter. I will also ff you back.  This is obviously my pathetic attempt at making new friends and making conversations.

Here's my Twitter url:  http://twitter.com/kassisacontra

Have a great weekend ahead Weekend Warriors

So it was the 82nd Academy Awards.  To be perfectly honest, I haven't watched a single film nominated in the Best Picture Category.  Yes, it's kinda pathetic.  I've been living under a rock... yeah think Patrick Star in Spongebob.  I've been meaning to watch UP and Inglorious Basterds though.  I just might  do that within the week.  And I'm really excited to look for the films nominated in the Best Foreign Language category.  

I  love awards shows ( yeah I'm one of those people who cry over celeb acceptance speeches) and I love seeing all these celebs glammed up.   . I have my set of faves at this year's Academy Awards.  And as I am a very lazy bitch, I don't feel like putting the pictures up here.  It's all over the news. 

Here are my faves :  *in no particular order*

Pictures:   http://www.peoplestylewatch.com/people/stylewatch/package/gallery/0,,20332759_20349134,00.html

♥Sandra Bullock ( congrats Sandy!)

♥ Penelope Cruz ( her Oscar dresses have been amazing for like the past 3 or 4 years)

♥Cameron Diaz

♥Kristen Stewart ( Okay not  a big K-Stew fan but glad she dressed up and all.  And look at her posture!! Better than that atrocious back she had at the BAFTAs)

♥Rachel McAdams

♥ Maggie Gylenhaal 

* So these two were in  printed dresses.  I'm not usually a fan of printed gowns but these two looked good)

♥Anna Kendrick

* Miley Cyrus' gown was okay too.  But it reminded me of the dress Penelope Cruz wore in lasy year's show.*

♥Tom Ford.  'nuff said.  Tom Ford.

♥Zac Efron ( He is really good looking kid.  No, I'm no tween.  He needs to be a tad taller though... don't you guys think? XD)

♥ Jason Bateman ( because he looks adorable)

♥Ryan Reynolds ( I'd prefer him to be shirtless TBH) >

♥Sam Worthington ( I don't know really.  Loving the scruffy look)

And here is a really funny picture.  James Cameron & Kathryn Bigelow.  Yeah I'm sure James gave Kathryn a hug but well he looks like he is going to strangle her.  XD

xoxo, Kassi ♥♥♥

I've been meaning to write something here but I keep forgetting.  I don't know what to say really.  Well I have been unemployed for the past 28 days..I think that's the exact number of days that I have been out of the office. I'm feeling quite fine with it really.  But I know I gotta find employment soon.  My finances are slowly draining out.  And I have a lot of goals this year.  I can't possibly achieve them if I don't have any dineros with me.  And so i might be forced/motivated to look for work SOON. Crappy Patty!  yeah that really sounds like Crabby Patty ( hail Spongebob).

I'm really stoked to watch Alice in Wonderland. I'll prolly watch it this Saturday.  I rarely go to the movies.  It's not like I don't like films or cinema in general. I can't stand watching really crappy American movies - yeah I'm referring to those "in your face bam explosion CGI shits" that are currently flooding moviedom. Oh well...it sells. Makes money.  What do I know about showbiz? There ain't no business like showbizness! ( SP?) 

The Deppster

Yay another Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/ Helena Bonhan Carter film. 

And so I am hauling my ass to Wonderland on Saturday. =)  And I must bid tabulas farewell.  TTYL. =p

Follow me on Tumblr: http://iglowinthedark.tumblr.com

And I will follow you back. ♥ you betcha!

xoxo, Kassi ♥

 Yeah...maybe I do!  Maybe I'm just bitter or whatever.

I have never been a fan of Valentine's Day.  I don't think my lack of a "life love" can be blamed.

It's funny... this is the 23rd year that I don't have anyone to spend Vday with.  I don't blame the universe or anything like that.  I can partly blame myself.  I am way too choosy ( is this even a legit word???).  

I have resigned myself to my fate.  So I'm one of those unlucky few who had never a colorful love life (Gawd...is there any other word I can use?  This is making me gag...really).  I have loved someone once.  It was the unrequited kind.  Well "one time" is better than nuttin' right?  It was a little bit painful.  I was little bit hurt...but what can you do?  I have never been the type of person...err girl who can just throw herself over a boy.  I don't know if it's my pride or if I'm just a little bit uptight.  Well whatever it is, I just know that sooner or later, my fate is all gonna change.  

And so...happy Valentine's lover bots and girls.  Remember : Safe Sex.  Always. Forever.  Just kiddin'!

And oh yeah...Kung Hei Fat Choi!  I was born in the year of the Tiger.  I hope I will have one awesome " roarin' & purrin'" year!!!   RAWR... it's the universe's way of saying "I Love You"!  So RAWR MY FUTURE TIGER...

xoxo, Kassi & the Lonely Hearts Club ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I hate/detest "unforeseen circumstances".

Nine days ago, I got one of the most disappointing news of 2010.  The Killers. January 31st. Cancelled.  WHAT THE EFF...

Lifted from their official site...

from The Killers

January 21, 2010

I was prolly one of the most disappointed fans ever!  I got the concert ticket.  I was flying to Manille just to see them!  So yeah the ticket company gave my money back.  But as for the airlines?  Well it's another story.  I donated my money to the airline's travel fund. 

When I first read the news online, I felt my whole world crumble.  The gig was nine 'effin days away.  And then I hear that the whole Asian leg of the tour was being cancelled... *I wanted to strangle a stranger at the moment*.  Today is January 31st.  I should have been at the gig.  I am/was prolly singin' along to all of the band's songs.  "Human" was even playin' in my sleep.  Jesus.  To watch The Killers was one of my 2010 goals.  Well I was so close to getting that goal off my "to do list".  GAWD.  I am so unlucky.

When The Killers' official statement first came out, I hated "unforeseen circumstances".  I was like "Are the breaking up or what?".  Well the more I Googled about it, I discovered  that Brandon Flowers' mum was dying.  She has/had brain tumor or someting.  And so I had to do some thinking.

After finding out that Brandon's mum could be the reason the band canclled the Asian leg, I learned to accept my fate.  It sucks.  It really does.   But Brandon's mum is more important.   He has to be by her side.  

  I literally froze when I read the statement from the band.  My heart was beating faster than usual.  My breathing was slow and shallow.  I started cursing...towards anything and everything. 

There is nothing I can do.  I so wanted to see them.  God Knows.  I no longer want to see them...that is if they decide to reschedule or whatever.  I made so much effort.  I had expecations.  I ended up...disappointed.  What's new??  But there is nothing I can do.   Maybe I will watch em...if they decide to come here...like for real.  No unforeseen circumstances or whateves in the midst.  Who knows???  I will figure it out...eventually.

I am sitting here infront of the computer...and feeling like shit.  I should have been singing along to Jenny was a Friend of Mine or Dustland Fairytale.  *le sigh*.  And so...January 31st is almost over.  I will be burying my "stolen The Killers" moment.  Oh well.  I heard Coldplay might come here.  Cool.  If that happens, I will prolly watch 'e,m.  I just hope (and pray) that no "unforeseen circumstances" will arise. 

Goodbye Cruel World...  I will now try to console myself with a tub of Strawberry Ice Cream and a little bit of Queen. Thank God for Freddie. 

xoxo,

Kassi

*forgive me for the very amateur-ish image*  I don't know Photoshop..Paint is the ssshhhhiiittt.*

Veronika hated everything, but mainly she hated the way she lived her life, never bothering to discover the hundreds of other Veronikas who lived inside her and who were interesting, crazy, curious, brave, bold.

-Veronika Decides to Die (Paulo Coelho)

I just saw Veronika Decides to Die.  And though the quote was never mentioned in the film,  I felt like it was something that I could relate to.

I read the book a long long time ago.  I don't personally own the book.  I've been borrowing the book from a friend for the last five years.

WEll going back to the film, I think they did justice to the story.  Although the story started a bit slow, the acting was okay.  The cinematography was awesome.    I am not into film reviews or anything like that.  I love the very minimalist look of the film.  I love the grey, white and black colors and how they were mixed together.  I think it greatly contributed to the mood of the film.

Well enough of the cinematography and what not.  Let's leave the film reviews to the film reviewers.  I don't know if I'm generally a cheesy person.  I am not sure if I am a masochist by nature.  By the end of the film, I found myself crying again.  Yes, generally I cry in every film that I watch.  I don't watch a lot of movies.  Well I do but what I meant was that I don't really watch the ones shown in the cinemas.  But let's not get into that. 

I guess I was just genuinely touched by the movie.   The last movie that made me cry was (500) Days of Summer.   I kinda liked Veronika Decides to Die as a book.  I kinda liked the movie too.  During the last 15 minutes of the film, I felt my  tears streaming down (and now my eyes hurt like hell) my face.  I don't know why this happens to me.  I could be a cry baby or something else.  Now that I think about it, I guess one of the reasons why I was deeply touched was that I can relate to Veronika's character.  No, I have never attempted to kill myself.  I don't deny that I am (and I can be) a dark person.  People think I'm weird or morbid or whatever.  I always take whatever they say as a compliment.   There comes a time in our lives when we get sick and tired of the mundane aspects of life.   I've always believed that there are demons and monsters inside us all.  I know  I have a lot of monsters lurking inside of me.  I am not the happiest creature on this planet.  This fact I do not and could not deny.  What this film/book made me realize was that despite man's battles against his inner demons, there could come a time when he or she will find something or someone to live for.  I don't know if I am selfish person.   I think of myself too much.  I think I spend so much time thinking about this and that about myself.  There are times when I let the demons and the monsters get to me.  I guess what the film/ book showed was that maybe there are things or people that we could live for.  Besides ourselves, there are things or people who we can live for.  I have a lof of dreams and aspirations in life.  I have been told by people close to me that I have no ambition.  This is not true.  I have a lot of dreams and aspirations for myself.  At my age, I think I'm in a stage where I am constanly in search of myself-who and what I am.  Old people can never understand this.  At this point in time,  I am looking and longing for that one great adventure.  I know that someday (somehow),  I will find my reasons for living.  I do hope that I could be like Veronika. 

Veronika  found Eduard.  Eduard found Veronika. 

*le sigh* 

xoxo,

A

*decided not to die*

p.s. 

*i want to take Eduard home and do bad things with him*

I miss Finch...

The lines have nothing to do with the New Year but its the only song that I know that has New and Beginning in the title. 

NEW BEGINNINGS...

So we've said Au Revoir & Sayonara to 2009. We greeted 2010 with arms wide open.  And though the new year has its own set of uncertainties and what-not, the eager beaver in me is pretty stoked.

My 2009 was just okay.  I sorta travelled (a little...but still!) and made new friends.  About 85% of the time (last 2009), I didn't like myself very much.  It was not insecurity or the green eyed monster that got me.  It was this strange feeling of " Oh Christ I'm ___ years old and I haven't done anything significant/mind blowing in my life".  One can't exactly say that I was having my own version of a quarter life crisis.  Hell...I am nowhere near 25! haha...   I can't really say that 2009 was the worst year of my life. 2004 and 2005 were two of the worst years of my life.    Let's just say I might be/could be mentally unstable.

I have never believed in New Year's resolutions or anything similar to that.  Maybe one or twice, I have done it in the past.  But now that I am older, I realized that I am not one for New Year's resolutions.  I'd rather make a list of my plans/ expectations.  Many people say that one should never expect too much.  I agree.  Expecting a lot can have dire consequences.  But despite these negative notions, I have come to realize that making plans/expectations can work for me.  Back in 2008, I made a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in 2009.  I actaully forgot about that list.  I only rediscovered it after going through some of my stuff.  The funny thing was, after rediscovering that piece of paper, I realized that I have done prolly about 95% of the things I have written down.  To be perfecty honest, I totally forgot about the paper's existence.  It was only after I read it again that I remembered everything.

Reading about those plans made me very happy.  I realized that as long as I visualize myself with "it" ( the "it" could be anything and everything that I wanted), I can totally get or achieve them.  Now that we have ushered in the New Year, I decided to make another list of plans/expectations.  I am not expecting too much. I just want to be able to write about the things that I want to do/happen this 2010. 

Spealing of plans, I have decided to write some of 'em down.   I want to serioulsy motivate myself....like for real yo!   Friends...Consider this as my MOTIVATION PROCLAMATION.

For 2010, I plan to:

*This is in no particular order. ..and yes, anything and everything  can happen*

• watch The Killers on January 31st.  I can basically sing most of their songs. Brandon Flowers is hot.  I know all the songs on Hot Fuss.  And just because I have the hots for FLOWERS... I AM NO FAN GIRL!!!!!!!! 

• see the world.  For someone like me who is super obsessed with maps and world capitals, I think it's time for Little Miss Sunshine to get out of her comfort zone and see the world.  Hopefully before the year 2010 ends, I can go backpacking.  Hmmm...Thailand is my ultimate destination for the said trip.  I have seen The Beach countless times.  I have read the book countless times. 

• seduce a stranger.  Incubus' Warning was playing the other day,.  That line kinda got stuck in my head.  Please don't take it literally.  "Seduce a Stranger" can also be interpreted as "Fall in Love".  I understand that one cannot schedule or plan when he or she will fall in love  It's one of those things in life that we cannot prepare for.  I just hope that in 2010, I will find someone...somehow. (For more of this, read my entry entitled "Sleeping with the Enemy".   I also thought of the whole seducing a stanger after watching Paris Je'taime.  Paris Je'taime is a collection of short films by different directors ( Most of them are French but there are other International directors too).  One of my personal faves from the collection is Quais de Seine.   I would love to share the movie's plot but it would be better if you watch the whole film.  I also loved Tour Eiffel, Faubourg Saint-Denis et Le Marais!!! ♥♥♥♥♥

• move to the big city.   Manille beckons.  I kinda reckon it's like when Whitney Port moved from The Hills to The City.  Okay...it's not on the same plinth but it's definetely on the same wavelength.  This reminds me of the City Mouse & Country Mouse.  I think that by moving to a bigger city, I will be getting out of my comfort zone.  I will be trudging the unknown.  And I know that I sound so melodramatic but I seriously can't help it.

• learn new languages.  Technically this is nothing new.  I learned Mandarin back in Grade School but well... I only know my name and the numbers 1 to 10.  It's such a shame!!! I am part Chinese.  I was too lazy!!! I slept during the class. BOOHOO. One of the reasons why I want to take Mandarin classes is because I want to be able to understand people's Chinese conversation.  Whenever there are people speaking Chinese, I kinda understand them.  I mean I can't totally totally understand whatever it is they are saying but I can pretty much get the gist.  Yeah...I know.  It's called eavesdroppin' baby!  As for French, I've been teaching myself for the past ten years.  I am, again caught by the lazy bug.  I attended French class back in college too.  I am a bit of a Francophile.  I understand certain words/phrases/sentences but it takes my brain a really long time to process said words/phrases/sentences.  I suck. BOO.  So before the new year ends, I should be able to enroll myself in a legitimate language class.  I want to be able to sing Mandarin & French songs.  I don't want to sing songs that I can't understand.  It might be too weird or something.

• lose weight.  I am not fat.  I am not skinny.  I am "average".  I can't say I'm "healthy" because I'd be lying!  I should prolly go to the gym or enrol myself in some sort of fitness class.  I am so lazy. I don't exercise.  I tired belly dancing but I kinda lost the instructional DVD.  I would love to try Capoeira.  And yes...it does sound a bit ambitious!  But believe it or not, I was actually a flexible kid!!!!  And oh.... I secretly want to try Parkour! 

And so...these are some of my major goals in 2010.  Most of the things that I have written down are pretty shallow and are very reachable/tangible.  If, in the event that  I get to do all of these, I will probably be one of the happiest Little Miss No Sunshine in the planet!! IMAGINE IMAGINE IMAGINE.  I don't have high hopes or anything like that but I sincerely believe that I can do all of these.  It's all in the mind...err pockets too Baby! 

xoxo,

Mademoiselle A. Bovary

RAWR...

* This is my song for the New Year!!! I friggin ♥ Thursday!  Geoff Rickly is god!!!* 

Let us welcome the New Year with a BIG RAWR!!!!  

A lot of things happened to me this past year.  But I'm too lazy to write 'em all down.  I'm not a fan of New Year's resolution and crap like that.  Basically I'm too lazy to write anything down.  I won't even make an effort mainly because I know that I wouldn't heed to whatever it is I have written down.

I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions  but I am definetely making plans for the Year 2010.  According to the Lunar Calendar, 2010 is the Year of the Tiger!!!!  And I am so 'effin excited because I am a friggin' Tiger!!!! RAWR and Double RAWR to that!!!

In the next couple of hours/days, I will try to write about my big plans for the year ahead.  I have so many things in mind.  I pretty much know that as long as I remain focused and motivated, I can get anything and everything I want.  *ALL I WANT IS EVERYTHING*

And so.... I will end 2009 with lots of hope.  I may not like the things that have happened to me in 2009 but I know I can forget about them.  About 85% of the year, I didn't like myself.  I didn't like the things that were happening to me.  I know that it was mainly my fault.  I chose to be mediocre.  Well now that 2009 is over, I will to be the best person I can be.  NO MORE DUMBING MYSELF DOWN. MEDIOCRITY IS FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.  

I should try to be more optimistic and hopeful in 2010.  I should know how to aim high (but never shoot low!).  I should become the person I have always wanted to be.  This 2010, I will try to be bigger, better and bolder than ever! And that's a promise!!!

HAPPY JET BLACK NEW YEAR GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

xoxo,

Mademoiselle A. Bovary

Every woman adores a Fascist... - Sylvia Plath's Daddy

I really really want to read Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar.  I don't want the ebook  version.  I really want the book.  Christ... I can't find it on ebay.ph. Life is unfair.

My birthday is coming up next week.  I'll prolly take the day off from my very lousy job.  I'm thinking of buying books for my birthday.  I wanna get Martin Amis' The Rachel Papers and Jennifer Egan's The Invisible Circus ( yeah that movie with Cameron Diaz and Jordana Brewster).  But I AM SO POOR RIGHT NOW.

I seriously need a new perspective...  I need to find a new job. It's bad enough that my brain cells are not even exerting effort..  I can no longer be around spinesless, middle aged losers. Oh... I am a minimum wage earner.   I feel like I'm too smart for this job.  I don't mean to brag or anything like that... Whoever thought of the concept that people should work  to earn money should have been sent to the last circle of the Inferno or something like that.  It was so much better when we bartered and traded. LOL...Guess I wanna go back to the Stone Age or something like that!  We would not be stuck doing 9 to 5 and looking at the corners of our work stations/cubicles.   CRAP... SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY...

I will stop ranting now. I guess I'm just famished.  I haven't eaten in prolly 14 hours!!! And I need SLEEP... lots of ZZZZZzzzz...

UPDATE:    * Originally posted last 30 October 2009 at 05:56 AM

I just got the two books I wanted for my birthday!! It's like a post birthday/pre Christmas present for myself.  HURRAY!!! I'm done with The Invisible Circus.  I will read the other book later!  Now I just need to look for Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar!  I have finally decided that I will hand in my resignation on the 30th of December.  I seriously need a new perspective.  New Year.New Perspective.   The salary is pathetic.  Sometimes I go to work and the bag that I'm using is worth more than my salary...so funny.    The other people in the office are like...well... I don't want to say anything.  But do you ever get the feeling that you (sometimes) have to lower your standards so that they (other people) can understand you?  Like dumbing yourself down a little.  Christ. SO SICK OF THAT.  FOR REAL.  I don't think these people know where Slovenia is.  hihihihi... *i'm a bitch*